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I sit down on the couch and pick up my iPhone. My two boys are at my feet, making a meandering animal menagerie across the living room floor.
I slide my finger across the liquid-feeling screen, hover over the email icon… but then click the picture of the mindfulness bell. I select “1 Minute” and close my eyes.
Mica screeches – he wants the big crocodile NOT the baby crocodile! I hear Orlando, my just-turned-seven-year-old, retort sharply. I feel the rise in my body, the reflexive fish-mouth gulp in, the gathering of energy in my body. I could be up and off the couch in an instant, standing up, squatting down, insisting they stop.
I breathe in. I feel my belly expanding. I tell myself, “I can do it. I can not react for this one minute. For just this one.”
I breathe in and out. There is no more screeching. They have moved on, and I am staying still. Still for the first time in a long time. We’ve spent the last six weeks purging, packing, selling, donating, organizing, and finally moving into our new house. Our lives are topsy-turvy, and I find myself wobbly from the ride, impatient and irritable.
And however I find myself, my kids mirror it back to me…
I sit still and take it in. Just these few moments of settling bring me the sadness of our somewhat fractured (for now) relationships, the knowing that we can and will repair them, and the surprise of being here, now, in our new, wonderful home.
For just this one minute, on this one day, I take it in. I listen to the children and let the imbalance become my ballast.
